So, Easter kinda came and went, huh? Yeah it did. So here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to pretend that this cake is decorated with eggs and stuff because I’m MENTAL and I will decorate baked goods with anything I like, whether it’s a holiday or not. We probably don’t need to pretend actually, I really would do that.

But anyway, I give you the ultimate chocolate fudge cake, which may or may not be very suitable for Easter as well, but please don’t feel like you can only make it at Easter. You should probably make it right now, in fact. I mean, what else were you going to do? Work? Walk the dog? Do some chores? Pah. Let’ s be serious. You weren’t going to do any of those things. And even if you were, this is more important. Do it. Do it now.

The original recipe was made in 18cm tins and therefore used only 80% of the quantities given here. Fortunately for you, I am super smart and decided to make this big enough for 20cm tins (I may have been forced to due to not owning any 18cm tins, but let’s not quibble) because big cake is always better than small cake. Yes it is.

Ultimate chocolate fudge cake

Adapted from Feel Good Food Spring 2012 by Woman & Home

Serves me. Or 8-10 normal people.

Ingredients:

190g/6.7 oz/ 1 + 2/3 stick butter, softened

190g/6.7 oz/1 cup light muscovado (brown) sugar

2 large eggs

1.25 tsp vanilla extract

50g/1.75 oz/ 1/2 cup cocoa powder

190g/6.7 oz/ 1 + 1/2 cup self-raising flour

1.25 tsp baking powder

2/3 tsp bicarbonate of soda (baking soda)

3 tbsp golden syrup

210ml/7.1 fl oz/ 3/4 cup + 2 tbsp sour cream

310ml/10.5 fl oz/ 1 + 1/3 cups double (heavy) cream

310g/11 oz dark chocolate, broken into pieces (I used 50% cocoa solids)

mini eggs and flake bars, to decorate (optional)

Heat the oven to 160C (320F) fan oven/180C (360F) conventional oven. Butter and line two 20cm sandwich tins.

Beat together the butter and sugar with a wooden spoon or electric handwhisk until light and fluffy. Beat the eggs in one at a time, then beat in the vanilla.

Sift in the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and bicarb and whisk until well combined. Whisk in the golden syrup and sour cream. Once the mixture is smooth and even, divide between the two tins. Bake for 20-25 minutes (mine took 24 minutes in a 160C fan oven).

Leave to cool in the tins for 5 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

To make the ganache, heat the cream gently in a pan until hot. Remove the pan from the heat and tip the chocolate in. Cover with a towel and leave for a minute. Stir well until smooth. If you have bits of unmelted chocolate, stick the pan back over a low heat and stir every so often. Allow to cool until thick enough to spread (around 15 minutes).

Cover the top of one of the cooled cakes with about a third of the ganache. Place the other cake on top and cover the top and sides with the ganache. Decorate with mini eggs and flake bars, if you are MENTAL like me. Stick your face in it.

It’s Easter! And what perfect timing it is, because I have spent the entire week craving (and eating) chocolate, and now I get a free pass to stuff my face with even more of it. I do have a confession. We might have eaten Easter eggs last weekend because my mum couldn’t control herself and encouraged us all to eat them as well. But shh, keep it secret.

Anyway, given that it’s now time to eat lots of chocolate and given that I also stocked up on loads of mini eggs, I thought it only appropriate to present you with… Lemon meringue cake. Yeah. Didn’t see that twist coming, did you? I don’t know what happened, to be honest. One minute I was looking at Nigella’s Easter Egg Nest Cake and the next minute I was staring at this wonderful creation. It was so pretty, flaunting all its layers at me like a brazen hussy (I don’t even know), and I was totally mesmerised. So. Lemon meringue cake. Its layers consist of meringue, lemon cake, lemon curd and whipped double cream. Do with it what you will. Preferably make and eat it, like. Anything else might be a bit weird.

Just so you know, this is the easiest thing to make, ever. Stick some stuff in the food processor, whisk some egg whites, job done sorted. Oh, and it tastes bloody good too. But I wouldn’t post it if it didn’t, would I?

P.S. Fear not, a cake which utilises those mini eggs is on it’s way!

Lemon meringue cake

From Feast by Nigella Lawson

Serves 10-12 (Nigella says 8, I say you’ll have tummy ache)

Ingredients:

125g/4.4 oz soft butter (I used lightly salted)

4 eggs, separated

300g/10.6 oz/1 + 1/3 cup caster (superfine) sugar (plus an extra 1 tsp for sprinkling)

100g/3.5 oz/ 3/4 cup + 1 tsp plain (all-purpose) flour

25g/0.9 oz/3 tbsp+ 1 tsp cornflour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda (baking soda)

zest of 1 lemon

4 tsp lemon juice

2 tsp milk

0.5 tsp cream of tartar

150ml/5 fl oz/ 2/3 cup double (heavy) cream

150g/ 5.3 oz lemon curd

Preheat the oven to 180C (355F) fan oven/200C (390F) conventional oven. Line and butter two 20cm sandwich tins.

In a food processor, process together 100g/3.5 oz/scant 1/2 cup of the sugar with the egg yolks, butter, flour, cornflour, baking powder, bicarb and lemon zest until fairly smooth (shouldn’t take more than 20 seconds). Add the milk and lemon juice and process until smooth. Scrape down the sides and process briefly again.

Divide the mixture between the two sandwich tins and spread to an even layer in each tin. This is going to be quite thin, so don’t panic if you think it doesn’t look very much. Set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs whites and cream of tartar until soft peaks form. Gradually whisk in the other 200g/7.1 oz/scant cup of sugar (I added it in 4 batches) until glossy. Divide between the two tins, spooning straight onto the cake mixture and spreading evenly. Smooth the top of one and use a spoon to create peaks on the other one (the smooth one will be the base, the peaked will be the top).

Sprinkle 1 tsp of caster sugar over the peaked meringue and then bake both for 20-25 minutes (mine took 24 minutes in a 180C fan oven).

Remove from the oven and allow the cakes to cool completely in the tins on a wire rack.

Once cooled, remove the flat topped one from the tin and place meringue-side down on your serving plate. Spread with the lemon curd. Whisk the cream until thick (but not too stiff) and spread over the lemon curd. Top with the peaked cake (meringue-side up this time!). Marvel at it for a few seconds, then stuff your face.

At the beginning of February, I went to London to visit my lovely friend, Jessica. Jess and I have known each other since we were teeny tiny children at nursery. I won’t lie, there’s been some rocky patches in our friendship; Jessica once savagely kicked me under the table in class when we were 9. Fortunately, I decided to forgive her (once I’d kicked her back) and we have been friends ever since, even if we have only managed one visit every five years due to lots of moving around

Having had our second five-yearly catch up at Christmas, we decided not to leave it too long ’til the next one and so my trip to London was planned. While both of us managed to start the Saturday feeling slightly delicate from drinking the night before, we had a rather cultured weekend with a couple of galleries and… um… well, we went and sat in the Natural History Museum while we ate cakes! That’s cultured, right? Yeah it is.

So! The cakes! They were from the Hummingbird Bakery (whose books I love). Jess went for the raspberry cheesecake brownie and I had a chocolate caramel cupcake. Firstly, the cakes were pretty. People came up to us and asked us where we got them from. Actually one guy did that. He was pretty hot. That isn’t the point. Where was I? Oh yeah. Now, this cupcake doesn’t feature in the Hummingbird Bakery books, but I decided it needed making and it wouldn’t be hard to recreate by combining a couple of the cupcakes which do feature in their book. Surprisingly, the caramel and the chocolate ones. I know right.

The cupcakes have a really good chocolate caramel flavour and they’re so soft it’s ridiculous. They’re topped with a caramel buttercream and you can add an extra dollop of caramel if you want to (I did, obviously). And you can eat them openly in your own home, instead of slightly secretively on a bench in a museum. Yay!

Chocolate caramel cupcakes

A combination of two recipes from Hummingbird Cake Days by Tarek Malouf

Makes about 15

Ingredients:

For the cake:

80g/3 oz butter, at room temperature (I used lightly salted)

280g/10 oz caster (superfine) sugar

200g/7 oz plain (all-purpose) flour

40g/ oz cocoa powder

1 tbsp baking powder

240ml/8.5 fl oz milk

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

2 large eggs

150g/5.5 oz tinned caramel

For the buttercream:

250g/9 oz icing (confectioner’s) sugar

80g/2.25 oz butter, at room temperature

25ml/0.75 fl oz milk

50g/1.75 oz tinned caramel

Preheat the oven to 170C (340F) fan oven/190C (375F) conventional oven and line two muffin tins with 15 cupcake cases.

Using an electric handwhisk, whisk together the butter, sugar, cocoa powder, flour and baking powder until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs.

Add the vanilla extract, eggs and half the milk and whisk until smooth. Scrape down the sides, then add the rest of the milk and the caramel and whisk until smooth. Divide the mixture between the cases and bake for 18-22 minutes (mine took 22 minutes in a 170C fan oven).

Let the cupcakes cool for 5 minutes in the tin before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

To make the icing, whisk together the icing sugar, butter and milk until combined, then add the caramel and whisk until you have a smooth icing. Whack it on the cupcakes and shove them in your face.

I cannot believe that, given how much pasta I eat, the last time I posted a pasta recipe was in October. That is madness! Utter madness. It is my favourite food and if I could only eat pasta forever I’d… well, I’d cry, because pasta isn’t cake, but it’d definitely be near the top of my “foods I wouldn’t mind eating forever whilst not being allowed to eat anything else, once I’d got used to not being allowed cake” list. Yes, the titles of my lists are always that snappy. Yes, I make many lists. Be quiet now.

Anyway! This is a pretty perfect meal. It takes hardly anytime at all to cook and it manages to taste a little bit naughty whilst actually being quite a healthy meal. The creaminess comes from 1 tbsp of creme fraiche (I used low fat to make it even less naughty), but other than that it’s seafood, courgettes and tomatoes. See? Healthy!

Creamy tomato and prawn pasta

A Cafe Lula recipe

Serves 2

Ingredients:

olive oil

1 shallot, finely chopped

12 large tiger prawns

140g scallops

1 courgette, sliced

175g baby plum tomatoes, halved

a good glug of white wine

160g passata

1 tbsp creme fraiche (I used half fat)

black pepper, to season

a pinch of mixed herbs

a few fresh basil leaves, torn

180g pasta

parmesan, to serve

In a large pan or wok, heat a tablespoon or two of olive oil over a medium heat and fry the shallots for a few minutes until softened.

Set the pasta cooking (working on the basis that it takes 8-10 minutes).

Add the prawns and scallops to the pan and fry for 2 minutes, stirring regularly.

Add the courgettes and tomatoes and fry for another 3 minutes, then add the wine. Cook for a couple of minutes, then add the passata and creme fraiche and season with the black pepper and mixed herbs. When the pasta is ready, drain it and tip into the sauce along with the basil leaves. Stir well and serve with parmesan.

So, I’ve cheated a bit here, because I didn’t make this cake. My clever sister, Kim, made it. I used to make this cake. I did. A lot. It was actually one of the first cakes I made. But then, one day, Kim made it. Kim does not pay attention to proper measurements. Kim does not follow directions properly. Kim doesn’t even use the right shaped tin. But it turns out the cake is far better Kim’s way. So if we want cappuccino squares, Kim makes them, because only she really knows how.

Until now! Last time she made it, I asked her to keep count of her not-proper measurements (these include using a giant serving spoon instead of tablespoons and a spoon for making tea rather than a 5ml teaspoon) and then I measured those into proper tablespoons and teaspoons. So now we can all make this cake like Kim does. But if Kim’s available, I’ll definitely still get her to make it.

Not that you need convincing, but there are many reasons you should make this cake: Firstly, it is the softest chocolate-coffee cake you will ever taste and one of the best cakes in the world, ever (is that two points?). Secondly, the white chocolate icing is so good it might actually make you cry. And lastly, the cake is a one-bowl affair and takes no time at all to make. Do it!

P.S. Kim, when you read this, go make us some cappuccino squares. Cheers.

Cappuccino Squares

Adapted by Kim from Everyday Muffins & Bakes

Makes one 8-inch square cake, cuts into about 36 squares

Ingredients:

For the cake:

225g/8 oz/2 sticks butter

225g/8 oz/1 cup caster (superfine) sugar

4 eggs, beaten

5 tsp instant coffee powder, dissolved in 3 tbsp hot water

225g/8 oz/1.75 cups self-raising flour

1.5 tsp baking powder

6 tbsp cocoa powder

For the icing:

115g/4 oz white chocolate, broken into pieces

55g/2 oz/0.5 sticks butter, softened

3 tbsp milk

175g/6 oz/1 + 1/3 cup icing (confectioner’s) sugar

Preheat the oven to 170C (340F) fan oven/180C (360F) conventional oven. Grease an 8-inch square tin and line the base with baking paper.

Put the butter, sugar, eggs and coffee into a large bowl and sift in the flour, baking powder and cocoa powder. Beat together with an electric whisk or wooden spoon until you have a smooth mixture. Scrape into the tin and smooth the top.

Bake for 35-40 minutes (Kim’s took 40 minutes in a 170C fan oven). Let it cool in the tin for about half an hour, then remove and cool on a wire rack.

While the cake is cooling, make the icing. In a bowl set over a pan of gently simmering water, melt the butter, chocolate and milk together. Stir until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth.

Remove the bowl from the heat and sift in the icing sugar. Beat together until smooth, let it cool slightly, then pour and spread over the cake. Dust with cocoa powder, if you like.

It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally here!

If you follow me on twitter you may have seen me complaining about this recipe a lot over the past week. I first tried making it on Saturday and it made far too much mixture. I ate about a cake’s worth of mixture (resulting in a massive tummy ache) and put the rest of it in the tin. Fortunately, I was smart enough to put a baking tray underneath the tin, so that when it overflowed everywhere it didn’t get stuck to the bottom of the oven.

Because the cake tasted AWESOME, I decided I needed to tweak the recipe to make a sensible amount of mixture. So I tried it again. I reduced the quantities by about 10% and when I got it into the tin it was looking fairly good. I actually sat on the floor in front of the oven watching the cake rise for a good 10 minutes. Yes, I am so cool it hurts. It seemed to be going well, but when I checked on it at 30 minutes, there it was, all over the stupid mixture-catching tray. Hmph.

I decided to try again and hope for third time lucky, and it finally, finally worked. The cake is lovely and soft, and you can really taste the Mars bar in the mixture. There are extra pieces of Mars bar layered through the cake and there’s a Mars bar and double cream sauce to top it all off. Nom nom nom. It’s actually brilliant without the topping too, so if you prefer your loaf cakes plain then skip the sauce. Apart from the fact that it tastes amazing, another ace thing about this cake is that you make it all in one pan, so there’s no faffing with a million bowls and not much washing up to do. So get baking!

P.S. Mars bars are similar to US Milky Ways and so can be substituted with those if you want/need to

Mars bar loaf cake

A Cafe Lula recipe

Serves 8-10

Ingredients:

110g/3.9 oz/1 stick (0.5 cups) butter , plus extra for greasing

75g/2.65 oz plain chocolate (around 50% cocoa solids)

1.5 full-size (58g/2 oz each) Mars bars (or Milky Ways), chopped into small pieces (don’t eat the other half! It’s going in the sauce!)

110g/3.9 oz/ 1/2 cup creme fraiche (I used half fat, to save on calories. Ahem.)

3 large eggs

200g/7 oz/1 + 2/3 cups self-raising flour

125g/4.4 oz/ 2/3 cup light brown sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp bicarbonate of soda

2 full-size Mars bars, each cut into 10 slices

For the sauce:

1.5 Mars bars, chopped small

100ml/3.4 fl oz/ 1/3 cup + 1 tbsp double (heavy) cream

25g/0.9 oz plain chocolate

1-2 Mars bar, chopped, for decoration

Preheat the oven to 160C (320F) fan oven/170C (340F) conventional oven.

Place the butter, the 1.5 chopped Mars bars and chocolate and melt over a medium-low heat, stirring regularly. Mash the nougatty bits with a wooden spoon to help them melt, but don’t worry if they don’t melt completely. Once the mixture is smooth (apart from any stubborn bits of nougat), remove the pan from the heat and allow to cool for 10 minutes.

While the mixture is cooling, grease and line a 900g/2 lb loaf tin. Cut the baking paper so that it overhangs at both ends (this makes it easier to remove the cake from the tin).

Stir the creme fraiche into the chocolate mixture until the mixture is smooth. Beat the eggs in one at a time.

Sift in the flour, baking powder, bicarb and sugar and stir the mixture until it is smooth and even.

Put a third of the mixture in the loaf tin, then dot one of the sliced Mars bars evenly over it. Add another third of the mixture and put the other sliced Mars bar on top, then cover with the remaining third of the mixture and use the wooden spoon to smooth the top.

Bake for 45 minutes, then increase the temperature to 170C (340F) fan oven/180C (360F) conventional oven and bake for a further 10-20 minutes (so total cooking time is 55-65 minutes). Mine took 60 minutes in a 160C fan oven increased to 170C at 45 minutes.

Remove from the oven and cool in the tin on a wire rack for 5 minutes, then remove the loaf from the tin and cool completely on the wire rack.

In the mean time, make the sauce. Place the chopped Mars bar and double cream in a saucepan over a medium-low heat. Stir regularly and mash the nougat bits until the mixture is all melted together. Remove from the heat and add the chocolate, stirring until it is melted. Whisk together with an electric whisk to make sure it’s lovely and smooth. Cool for around 5 minutes, then pour and spread over the cooled cake. Sprinkle over the chopped Mars bars. Aaaannnddd stick your face in it.

I bet you didn’t think you’d ever see a salad recipe on here, did you? Honestly, neither did I. It looks kind of out of place amongst all the cakes and bread, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, those cakes and bread are responsible for the increasing size of my bum and action needed to be taken. So, I give you salad. It’s nice though, I promise! I would never make you a horrible salad.

I’ve gone for the classic combination of prawns and avocado, with a “can’t really call it marie-rose, but it’s similar” sauce. It’s ridiculously quick to put together, tastes fresh and light, and is the perfect antidote to all those leftover Christmas chocolates you’ve been eating. I saw you. Don’t pretend you didn’t eat them. The other day you said you were just going to have one, and then you ate four! And you put the sweet wrappers back in the tin instead of in the bin! What is wrong with you?

I have given the quantities I used per person because it made more sense to me that way than saying “chop up all this stuff for two people and then split it between your plates”. I feel weird giving quantities at all; you can play around so much with what goes in a salad. Really, you can have however much or little of each thing as you want, scrap some of it entirely, add new stuff, whatever you like. I recommend that you buy shell-on prawns and peel them yourself because the texture and taste are much better than that of the ones you can buy ready-peeled, but I won’t judge you if you buy peeled ones to save yourself some hassle

For those of you who came here expecting a massive cake, or just something with lots of lovely carbs, do not panic. Normal service shall resume tomorrow.

Prawn and avocado salad

A Cafe Lula recipe

Ingredients per person

1 big handful washed baby spinach leaves

1/3 red bell pepper, sliced

2-inch length of cucumber, cut into thin strips lengthways

1/2 avocado, sliced

250g shell-on, cooked prawns (or around 150g ready-shelled prawns)

15g ketchup

15g mayonnaise

1/2 lime

black pepper, to season

If using shell-on prawns (which you should, because they taste loads better!), peel them.

Toss together the spinach, red pepper, cucumber, avocado and prawns.

In a bowl, mix together the ketchup, mayonnaise, a small squeeze of the half lime and a grind of black pepper until you have a smooth sauce.

If you’re sophisticated, drizzle the sauce over the salad. If you’re like me, whack the salad in the bowl with the sauce and stir well until it’s all coated and not at all pretty, but very yummy.

Serve with some nice crusty bread.

It’s been far too long since there was a Mars bar post around here. It’s also been far too long since I made brownies. The last time I made them was September! That just isn’t right. So I decided to finally get round to making Mars bar brownies, which have been on my to-do list for years (I’m not even exaggerating, literally years).

I’m also pleased to report that I can now do what most 7 year olds can do: melt Mars bars. Seriously, I don’t know if this is just me but I have tried to melt Mars bars loads of times and every single time it would turn into this funny lump that stuck to itself and left grease all round the pan. It was gross. And upsetting. Children melt Mars bars all the time to pour over rice krispies, but I can’t? How is that possible? Fortunately, I am now a Mars bar melting master.

These are definitely in the fudgy-brownie-camp. The Mars bars are melted with the chocolate and butter so that they are part of the brownie mixture, but then you also stir in 2 chopped Mars bars, so it’s a double hit of Mars bar! The stirred in Mars bars do melt away quite a lot, sometimes leaving only a ripple of caramel, so cut the chunks big. However, cut the two Mars bar brownies which are going to be melted with the chocolate reeeeeeally small. I cut them in half lengthways and then into pieces about 0.5cm wide. They melt easier that way! Now I’m off to scoff a few more brownies.

Mars bar brownies

A Cafe Lula recipe

Makes 36

Ingredients:

2 Mars bars (or Milky Ways), chopped small

200g/7 oz/1.75 sticks butter, cut into chunks

100g/3.5 oz dark (bittersweet) chocolate (about 72% cocoa solids), broken into pieces

100g/3.5 oz plain (semisweet) chocolate (about 50% cocoa solids), broken into pieces

65g/2.3 oz/ 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp cocoa powder

75g/2.65 oz/ 1/2 cup plain (all-purpose) flour

1 tsp baking powder

250g/8.8 oz/1 cup + 2 tbsp caster (superfine) sugar

3 large eggs

2 Mars bars (or Milky Ways), each sliced into about 10 pieces

Preheat the oven to 170C (340F) fan oven/180C (355F) conventional oven. Grease and line a 23cm (9 inch) square tin with baking paper. Cut the baking paper so that it hangs over the edges (this makes it easier to remove the brownies from the tin).

In a large pan, melt together the finely chopped Mars bars, butter and chocolates over a low heat, stirring frequently with a wooden spoon. Mash the nougaty bits of the Mars bar every so often with the spoon to help them along.

When the mixture is melted together and fairly smooth (other than some stubborn bits of nougat which won’t melt), remove the pan from the heat and allow to cool slightly. Pour in the sugar, then sift in the flour, cocoa powder and baking powder and stir them in until the mixture is well combined. Beat in the eggs until you have a smooth mixture, then fold in the slices of Mars bar.

Pour and scrape the mixture into the tin (it will be quite thick) and spread evenly around the tin, levelling the top. Bake for 30-40 minutes (mine took 37 minutes in a 170C fan oven) until a skewer inserted into the middle comes out with a few sticky crumbs on.

Remove the tin from the oven and place on a wire rack. Allow the brownies to cool in the tin until warm, then remove from the tin and cool on a wire rack. Cut into 36 pieces (or less if you like bigger brownies!).

When I was little, I was a horribly picky eater. Not picky like snobby, picky like I would not eat anything. You could probably count the foods I would eat on one hand. Fortunately, I realised I was being MENTAL a good few years ago now, but for years and years my diet consisted mostly of processed chicken burgers, ham and cheese sandwiches and the vegetables my mum would try to make me eat.

While just the idea of those chicken burgers is enough to make me feel sick now, l will always, always love ham and cheese sandwiches. Seriously, how good are they? Way good. But you know what’s even better? When you make a poshed up version by making your own bread dough and rolling mozzarella and parma ham up in it, swiss roll style. Did you just squeal? Me too.

There are two very good reason for making this. Firstly, you get to feel all smug about making your own bread. Secondly, you then get to stuff it in your face. Straight from the oven this is incredible; soft bread, gooey cheese and crispy parma ham. I could, and would, eat a whole loaf myself. But you can share it, if you want to. You lightweight.

Mozzarella and parma ham stromboli

Adapted from Italian Home Baking by Gino D’Acampo

Makes one long loaf (serves 6)

Ingredients:

525g/18.5 oz strong white bread flour

1.5 tsp salt

7.5g/0.25 oz (1 sachet) fast-action yeast

300ml/10.1 fl oz lukewarm water

3/4 tsp caster sugar

3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

For the filling:

1 tbsp rosemary leaves

250g/8.8 oz mozzarella ball, cut into small cubes

3-4 slices Parma ham, torn into small pieces

3 tbsp chopped basil leaves

a few grinds of black pepper

In a large bowl, mix the flour, salt, sugar and yeast and make a well in the centre. Pour the water into the well and mix together with a fork and then your hands until you have a sticky, soft dough.

Place the dough on a lightly floured surface and knead for about 10 minutes. The dough should be smooth and elastic. Shape it into a ball, then place it in a large, clean bowl brushed with olive oil. Cover the bowl with clingfilm and put it somewhere warm for about an hour, until the dough has doubled in size.

Transfer the dough to a floured surface and roll out into a rectangle measuring approximately 30cm by 37.5cm. Cover with clingfilm and leave to rest for 5 minutes.

Mix the filling ingredients together in a bowl, then scatter over the dough, leaving a 1cm border.

Roll the dough up like a swiss roll, starting from one of the long edges so that the loaf is 37.5cm long. Seal the rolled over edge (but not the two ends). Oil a large baking tray and transfer the loaf onto to it, seam down. Cover with clingfilm and leave to rest in a warm place for 30 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 200C.

Brush the loaf with some olive oil and use a skewer to make small holes all over the loaf.

Bake in the middle of the oven for 35 minutes, until golden. Transfer to a wire rack to cool down a bit, then serve warm.

Caramel is not my friend. I’m too impatient. I watch the pan for what feels like hours, and the sugar just stares up at me from the bottom of the pan in its original state. So I whack the heat up and before I know it the bottom has burnt while the top still hasn’t melted. So I throw it away and start again, and usually the second attempt works fine.

But the last time I made this cake it wouldn’t work (or so I thought). This cake is amazing, by the way. Ridiculously light sponge, soft, baked apple base and covered in toffee sauce. But back to the toffee sauce: I made one batch and burnt it horribly, so in the bin it went before I even got to the bit where I was supposed to add the cream. Then I made a second lot. I added the cream but the sauce looked not quite right. It wasn’t quite dark enough and it seemed slightly lumpy. So I poured it into a bowl and started again. On the third attempt I finally managed it and poured the sauce over the cake.

Looking at my second attempt sitting sadly in the bowl, I decided to try a spoonful. Oh. My. God. It was amazing. Well, but what was I going to do with it? I looked at the sauce. I looked at the cake (you can see where this is going). I tipped the whole lot on the cake. It’s right up there at the top of my “best decisions I’ve ever made” list. And it never would have happened if I wasn’t rubbish at caramel! Embrace your weaknesses, people.

I kept the sauce to the normal amount when I made it this time, but I have to admit I wished I’d doubled it, and that is how I will always make it from now on. Recipe below has the original, single quantities for the sauce but, in case you haven’t picked this up already, I RECOMMEND YOU DOUBLE IT.

Apple cake with toffee sauce

From Falling Cloudberries by Tessa Kiros

Serves 8-10

Ingredients:

3 apples (I used Pink Lady)

100g/3.5 oz/7 tbsp butter, at room temperature

200g/7 oz/1 cup caster (superfine) sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 large eggs

200g/7 oz/ 1 + 2/3 cups plain (all-purpose) flour

2 tsp baking powder

60ml/2 fl oz/ 1/4 cup milk

For the toffee sauce (double this if you love toffee sauce):

20g/ 3/4 oz/1.5 tbsp butter

115g/4 oz/ 1/2 cup caster (superfine) sugar

125ml/4.2 fl oz/ 1/2 cup double (heavy) cream

Preheat the oven to 170C (340F) fan oven/180C (355F) conventional oven. Grease and line the base of a 23cm (9 inch) round loose-based cake tin.

Peel the apples and cut them in half lengthways. Remove the core, then cut each half into 6 slices. Arrange these in the bottom of the cake tin in decreasing circles.

Using an electric handwhisk or wooden spoon, cream together the butter and sugar. Beat in the vanilla, then beat in the eggs, one at a time. Sift in the flour and baking powder and beat them in. Add the milk and mix well.

Scrape the batter into the cake tin. Make sure the top is smooth, then bake for 30-40 minutes (mine took 30 minutes in a 170C fan oven). The cake will be golden and shrinking away from the sides of the tin.

Let the cake cool in the tin while you make the sauce.

Put the butter and sugar in a medium pan and heat over a medium-low heat, stirring every so often. The sugar at the bottom will melt first. Give it a gentle, short stir when this happens. When the mixture has melted together and is a golden colour, remove from the heat and start adding the cream a drop at a time (it might spit, so be careful!), stirring after each addition, then begin adding the rest of the cream in a steady stream. Return to the heat and stir well until you have a smooth sauce.

Remove the cake from the tin and place on a plate, apple side down. Pour over the toffee sauce. Serve with ice cream.